Lennon's Memory Shines on

One of my favorite items in my Beatles collection are the Beatles scrapbooks that I own.   I love the fact that some fan spent hours collecting articles and photos of the Beatles and taping them into a scrapbook and writing dates and notes.   I was looking through some of my scrapbooks from the solo years and I can across this article about John Lennon's security guard from 1980.   I know that I have posted his photo on this blog in the past, but here is a little more about him.

I found this article, which was written in 1981 to be sad.   I hope this man hasn't spent the rest of his life thinking "if only I...." when it comes to John's death.  Really I doubt there would have been anything he could have done if he was with John.   Please note that in respect of the wishes of Yoko Ono, Paul McCartney and my fellow John Lennon fans I have removed the name of John's killer from the article and have just referred to him as "the killer."   I have maintained not to post his name on this blog or post his photograph, however if someone chooses to do so in the comments section, I will not stop their freedom of speech to do so.   Thank you for understanding. 

Lennon’s Memory shines on

By Bill Carlton

The Daily News December 22, 1981

John Lennon inspired a lot of people with his music, but he inspired the Rev. James McClain with his life as well and gave him the extra strength he needed to make his own music.  

In the last few months before Lennon’s death, McClain was his personal bodyguard at the Hit Factory recording studio on W. 48^th St.  McClain worked as a security guard there and was assigned to protect Lennon and Yoko while they were making the “Double Fantasy” album.

Lennon refused McClain’s offer to travel with him and guard him around the clock.  So the former Beatle, who never carried a weapon, was defenseless against the gunman when he arrived home at the Dakota just over a year ago.

“If only I had been there, maybe I could have helped” are words that have haunted McClain ever since.

The big, burly, 41 year old minister is an ex-convict who once served a three year stretch for bank robbery.  He became a born-again believer in Lewisburg Prison and on his released in 1974, was ordained a Pentecostal minister in Harlem.

After meeting John Lennon, however, McClain says he was inspired and encouraged to record an album of his own gospel music and thereby fulfill a life-long ambition.

“He didn’t know how much he helped me,” McClain says.  “He left a big impact on me as far as songwriting is concerned.  He found out I was a musician and I sang him a few bars of gospel.”   “Wow, James!” John said, “You have a nice voice.  I want to hear your record.  You got some stuff I can hear? “  So I gave him a tape of 13 songs and he liked them so much he carried the cassette around.  He told me to make sure he got a copy of the single I was working on, ‘Somebody Somewhere need the Lord’.  But he died a month before it was finished.”

In mid-summer of 19890, when the recording session began for “Double Fantasy,” McClain’s job was to meet John, Yoko and often their son, Sean, when their limo arrived at the Hit Factory near Ninth Avenue, usually late in the afternoon.  He made sure they got safely through the crowd of fans, into the building and up to the sixth floor suite prepared for them.  He escorted them back into the limo when the session ended, often at 3 or 4a.m.

“Security came first,” says McClain, an imposing man who doesn’t carry a gun.  “There were always crowds of people outside the building but we never had any problems.  I check out everybody who was waiting and if they looked suspicious I would immediately question them.  ‘Who are you?  Why are you waiting so long?  Let’s see some ID.’  I encountered quite a few suspicious people.  When I saw the pictures of the killer, I had the feeling I’d seen him before, outside the Hit Factory.  But I wasn’t sure.”

Sometimes a mob of 50 or more people would be waiting when the limo pulled up.  “the young girls would cry and go to pieces,” McClain remembers.   “John would kiss them on the cheek and pose for pictures, always with Yoko.  Once he came and nobody was there.  He was shocked.  He lived for the fans.  He didn’t always want to be bothered, thought.  One day he ran down the hallway to escape them and get in quick.  He was very fast on his feet.  If he could have gotten a few steps on his killer, I’m sure he’d be alive today.”

The World Mourns

Fans expressing their loss in 1980.

Before Strawberry Fields and the Imagine Mosaic was placed in Central Park, fans would gather outside of the Dakota on December 8, as seen here in 1983.

Fan gather together in 2000.

In 2008, Yoko joined the fans at Strawberry Fields and placed flowers on the mosaic.

You know, I am terrible at this. I am not some great writer. I am someone who teaches reading to 1st graders and has a blog where I put up Beatles photos. How can I express my feelings about the death of John Lennon? Every time I have tried in the past, it has been pointless. All I can say is that I love John Lennon. I think he was a beautiful person who had many awful flaws. He wasn't a saint, but I still love him. His death was an awful shock and tragedy and it never should have happened. It sickens me that I live in a country...in a world...where someone can travel from the opposite end of the country to their destination with the purpose of murdering someone and carry it out without a hitch. Or where someone can break into someone's home and attack them violently while they are asleep. This blog is about Beatle fans, and let me tell you. The "men" who did those acts on John and George were not Beatle fans....they were monsters.

I have purchased several fan magazines in the past few months that were published right after John's death. The pure rawness and sadness of the fan's letters are enough to make you bawl. And I have. I have mourned with them 31 years after the fact. Here is an article Dianne Carroll wrote in the Jan/Feb 1981 issue of "The Write Thing" about mourning John in December 1980 in New York City.

December 9, 1980: All the record stores had nothing else in the window except "Double Fantasy" and a news clip of his death, plus a picture from the White Album in a frame. It was very touching. I found myself taking the subway to ST. Patrick's Cathedral. There I lit two candles -- one for John, and the other for his family and friends -- and said a prayer. I left there and found myself walking toward the Dakota, passing the Plaza and thinking of February 1964 and all the love and joy the '60's brought to a generation. When I had spoken to my mother the night before, she said she had been very devastated and had wished I was with her so we could "go hysterical" together. I loved her for that.

When I got to the Dakota, I suddenly felt more at peace, less shocked. There were hundreds of people around. I got there about 11:30a.m., shortly after Ringo's arrival. Poor Ringo. He almost got trampled. Everyone wanted to touch him. The papers showed him looking really shaken. He had just had Thanksgiving dinner with John several weeks before. He felt over immediately, as did Julian. How sad for both Sean and Julian. When John was about Julian's age, he had just started to enjoy his mother again when she was taken away. Now it's happening to Julian. How tragic. I hope they have the strength to enjoy life and carry on in their ideals through John's spirit.

At the Dakota, I met many people -- all ages, races. All showing grief, singing to Beatles music, and all glad to be at the Dakota rather than somewhere else. The gates were covered with flowers and more and more were coming. Many were there for hours. Others just got out of cabs and cars and buses to pay respect, leave flowers, and go on. there were many camera people there, asking people their thoughts and feelings at that moment. I saw a girl in back of me start to cry and offered her a tissue. She accepted it and then I asked her if she needed a shoulder to cry on. She nodded and we both cried together.

I finally said to no one in particular I have to get some flowers, so I went down the block to the florist. He was almost sold out of flowers. Everyone had been in there throughout the day and night. I asked for a red rose - just one. He wrapped it and the guy I went with got carnations. We were about to place them by the gate when I found a microphone in my face. The man asked me why I had the flowers in my hand. I was feeling shaky so I asked him to wait a second so I could get myself together. Then I told him I was an original fan form 1964. I had been to their last Shea Stadium concert and that John Lennon was the most special person in my life. He gave so much of himself to me and helped me to be strong, honest and aware of myself; to be real. I told him I knew John better than anyone in my family in a very special way. He thanked me, and then I went over to the gate and gently placed the rose by his pictures. The gate was so beautiful and it moved to tears again. I walked away and went back to the crowd. From the moment it happened, all the people form the radio stations just got out their beds and flooded together, like were doing at the Dakota. People had to be together. It was so unbearable to be alone.

As Sunday, December 14, finally came, once again I couldn't sleep the night before. I went to Central Park about 8:30 am. Some people were already there. It was a bitter cold day and we were all huddling around garbage pails, making bond fires. Many of us had our radios and the feeling for a good part of the morning was just singing and reminiscing. As 12:30 came around, people were starting to become quieter and more reflective. Men were checking the PA system which was set up by the band-shell and throughout the park. There was an easel in the center of the band-shell. First they put flowers on the stage and then came his picture -- John in his NYC t-shirt. It was gorgeous and the crowd was applauding, and very moved by it. During this time I Was standing next to a woman who was visiting friends in New York. She was from Finland and put off going back when she heard of John's death and vigil here. She said the last time she was here was in '76 for a Wings concert. Some celebrities showed up as private citizens, because there were no speeches. People like Jane Fonda, Tom Hayden, Mayor Koch, Sid Bernstein and Neil Sedaka to name a few.

It was getting near 1:00 and Ron Delsner spoke to us over the PA and asked us to kindly try to sit down. With close to 125,000 people jammed together, that was a bit difficult but we managed. I must say before I continue that everybody was kind, polite and there was little or no disturbances. Everyone was there to be together, to pray for a man's soul who had given so much love and peace to so many. We were there out of love and no one let their patience get out of hand. That, alone, is a profound assessment of John Lennon's "power."

At 1:30 they played selections of John's music -- Norwegian Wood, Hide your Love Away, In my Life, Julia, Watching the Wheels, All you need is love (the crowd was not just signing then, but standing and chanting hand-in-hand) and then Give Peace a Chance. Everyone chanted and waved peace signs. While singing the song, something extraordinary happened. Out of nowhere, flurries of snow started to fall.

Then Mr. Delsner came back on the PA and told us the 10 minutes of silence was about to begin. He suggested that we get comfortable, and then it happened. I lit my candle and held a girl's hand next to me. It was TOTAL SILENCE. All you could hear were the helicopters overhead, people crying softly, and cameras clicking.

All around us tears were flowing openly now. Then the vigil was over and Mr. Delsner told us we could leave but very few did. We all got into our separate circles. Someone began and we were all left just holding each other and rocking back and forth. Then some guy broke the circle, went to the picture and wept openly. Someone else left a candle, another a photograph, I left a candle, knelt by the picture and said a prayer. Someone else read a poem she had written. More candles, more tears. No one wanted to leave. Ron Delsmer came back on and said if anyone had any flowers, they were welcome to place them on the altar. I don't know if he realized he said "altar" but it hit me like a shock. the band-shell had been turned into an altar for John.

Finally we decided to leave and most of us headed for the Dakota. On the way I met a girl who had hung around the Hit Factory and had some gorgeous shots of John. Some profit mongers were selling pins. Also, there were petitions for gun control which everyone was signing. We finally got to the Dakota where thousands had spent their vigil and we were all singing and smiling once again. We sang Give Peace a Chance. And the snow started to fall again. The louder we sant, the stronger the flakes came down. We all looked at each other stunned. Then we saw a woman standing at the window on the 7th floor where Yoko and John lived. She was looking at the vast crowd. She stepped away a moment and came back with a small child adn held him up to the window.

There will never been anyone like John again. He was form a rare mold that is now obsolete. Thank you, God, for giving him to us. His spirit will live on forever.

Posts from A Loving Tribute to John Lennon

Mick Jagger and John in October 1974

John and Yoko listening back to "Starting Over"

John takes Bob Gruen's photo

In late February 1981 Mark and Carol Lapidos of Beatlefest held their first Beatles convention since the death of John Lennon. At that Beatlefest they gave out (for free) to everyone who attended Beatlefest 1981 in New Jersey a beautiful book called "A Loving Tribute to John Lennon." In this book John fans wrote poems, letters, drew pictures and wrote their memories of John. There are also some very rare photos of John from Bob Gruen that I have never seen anywhere else. I was lucky to get one of these books at a Beatles convention in the 1990's. I think it only cost me a dollar. Here are some of the stories from fans who had the wonderful opportunity to meet John. When you read this please keep in mind that when they wrote these words they were still mourning John's death.

From Helene Goldstein (1981)

Carry on, Carry on...

Maybe in writing this, I'll feel better knowing that people who can really understand what I feel will read it. As 1981 begins, for me, full of fear of what our new president has to offer, I am empty in an eerie way. John Lennon was a part of me. I was hooked when I first listened to "Imagine," which is still my favorite song. How wonder it was to hear someone with the same opinions on countries and religion! I was too young to know the Beatles first hand (I was just born in 1965) so now it was my turn to enjoy their music.

My interest built up fast and I attended Beatlefest '80. Seeing all of the films made my interest grow. I wanted to know more about this man. And so, my interest grew, and the rest is fan history.

In the past summer, I had traveled many times, with my friends, to the Dakota, hoping to catch a glimpse of the man I had grown to love. A few months before then, I had been roller skating with my friend Jodi, and we ended up skating in back of Yoko Ono, whom I had also grown to love, and followed her up the block to the Dakota. So one August day, my friend Roseann and I stood in front of the gargoyle-guarded Dakota. That same day, we had viewed two clips of the Beatles at the Museum of Broadcasting. WE stood there calm, until a car pulled up, and a very familiar man got out. This man had short hair, but John Lennon's face. But hadn't we seen a recent picture of John Lennon with long hair? He gave something to the doorman, smiled widely at us, and got back into the car. Than I noticed that Lennon profile. But being shocked, we convinced ourselves that it wasn't him. A few weeks later, I saw a newspaper picture of him with short hair. So it was he. I had really been only 15 feet away form John Lennon.

It is now almost two months and my mind still clouds with disbelief. The Friday after he died, I stood freezing with two friends in front of the building that now frightened me. I felt awkward. I know Yoko wanted us to leave, but I didn't know what to do. This was the only outlet to show my deep concern. I'm only 15, still a child, and some of that childhood has been taken from me. How fast I had to grow up when the realization of what the world was becoming, the cheapness of life, the utter senselessness of the society flourishing around me, which I had before ignored, and how easily a life could be taken, was suddenly slapped hard in my face. I suddenly woke up from my childish world of eternal utopias. John Lennon was a man, he was flesh and blood just like me. Stop dreamin' kid, he's no God. My world was ruptured by something I had not created, nor had any control over.

I read his last interviews and loved him more. Loved him more for what he said in those interviews. It's like a baby getting more interested in a toy that has always been there, then it drops to the floor and breaks. All that is left in me is a tear, and this; please don't' let him have died in vain. Now is the time, more than ever, to "Give Peace a Chance."

From Gary C. Rivers

John Lennon was a special friend. I met him in 1974 at his Lennon Music office. He had just released "Walls and Bridges" and I went to his office to try to get a poster, picture or anything I could. Instead, I found John smoking nervously and speaking on the telephone. As I entered and my mouth opened wider than it ever will again, he said, "I'll be off the line in a minute, sit here please..." pointing to a leather sofa. I sat down wondering what was next? The way my heart was beating I didn't thin I 'd survive what was coming. Why did he want me to sit down? Did I do something wrong? Did I upset him?

When he finally hung up the phone, I apologized frantically. With his irreverent humour, John accepted my apologies and cautioned me to "never let it happen again..." Then we both cracked up because we had created this little dramatic scene we were both getting into, and it didn't exist! When he finally explained why he asked me to wait, I felt more important than anyone on earth (except of course, John). He asked me what I thought of "Walls and Bridges" "It's important to me to know how I'm doing with the youthful second generation fans as it were, Beatle fans. What am I in comparison to let's say Elton John?" I told him that he means more to youth today than he did in 1964. "Is that why I had a number one album?" he asked. I replied, "Well, that and the fact that the last number one album was Cheech and Chong and you had no competition!" He looked at me fiercely and I felt I had just ended a beautiful afternoon. Then he cracked up laughing and said, "Who the hell do you think you are, John Lennon?"

The last time I saw John was in mid-November. He gave me a copy of "Double Fantasy" and told me I'd probably be one of the only ones in my generation that would understand it. AS I played the record, I knew John had finally found the same kind of personal fulfillment he had given you and me.

December 8 must stand as one of the most important days of my life. And just as important to you. It's the day when the most magical, wonderful and loving fantasy the world had ever known came to an end. John's "starting over" has become a too literal prophecy; we're the ones that have to start over now. WE were all awoken on December 8. Who would have thought that a story of the magnitude of the Beatles would have such an unfair, undeserved anticlimax. As John said "Where there's life, there's hope..."

The Greatest Day of my life
By Stacey Jenkins-McBride (Brooklyn, NY)

In February of 1980 I saw John Lennon on the streets of New York. I Was on my way to Penn Station to catch an Amtrak Metroliner headed for Springfield, Massachusetts. As I waited for the light to turn to green, I heard someone shout out, "Hey John, how are you?" Out of plain curiosity, I turned around to see what this guy named John looked like. I turned around, and the person who was standing about 6 inches from me was John Lennon.

My insides were becoming a little shaky and from pure excitement I knew my physical appearance was beaming. as I said hello to him, I tried to remain cool; I didn't want him to think I was some star crazed groupie. He said hello and smiled back and then we were our separate ways. I didn't want to stop and hassle him for autographs because if John felt free to walk the streets and do his shopping, he didn't need anyone hounding him. The smile and the acknowledgements were more than enough. It made the rest of my year truly beautiful. I will always remember this day as the happiest day of my entire life.